If guilt has a grip done to and you blame yourself for your children's problems, it is not too late to make your life more competitive.
And the events in your life that you draw from don't end up being dramatic meetings. For example, you mentioned a crusade inside your other series set in Myrridia. https://funbookmarking.com/story17945543/book-review-ms-hempel-chronicles-by-sarah-shun-lien-bynum